I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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