i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize