watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
