i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
