I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
