love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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