You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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