Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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