Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
