I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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