You're completely useless in the revolution.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
