How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
