my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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