just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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