I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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