Are we in a gay sports bar?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
