I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i think my cat just said my name.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
