my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
