what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
