Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
