you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
