Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
