Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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