Who did Billy Mays play for?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
