do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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