I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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