can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
