oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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