I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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