Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Text me some of your sweat
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