I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
