when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
