So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
