Well douche your snatch and let's go!
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
