There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
