I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i came on her dog
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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