I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
