he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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