This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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