spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
