Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
