How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
