My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
