so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
