TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
