you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You dont lie about slip and slides
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
