First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
