put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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