shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
