in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
