my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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