On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
