the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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