something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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