my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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