The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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