yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
