Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
