so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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