Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and she was petting her beer can
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
