I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
do herpes really smell.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize