somebody snuck up and got me drunk
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
