He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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